Thursday, 6 August 2015

And then they met Bapu: A revolutionary conversation in heaven.

Once upon a time in a place far away, a realm far above, there met a few individuals. Names we have known; some still worshipped, others still abhorred. 

“ You have no idea about the jail I was in…”
“It could not have been worse than ours!”
“Excuse me, there are some go us who were dead before we could see the face of a jail..so don't complain”.

A group of young men sat beneath a tree in what appeared to be a huddle. There were occasional raised voices, some argumentative tones, some pacifying comments. But there was a distinct amicability in their demeanour -a heart warming familiarity - when they slapped each other's back or affectionately hugged their neighbours or struggled to check their laughter.


And then one day, they had an intruder. 

Bapu!” Bismil’s voice helped break the awkward silence.

Bapu smiled and asked-“Can I join you guys? I have been hearing your banter for sometime and just felt like joining in. You see, it's a bit lonely at my place.”

“You will join US?” Rajguru asked with a tinge of disbelief.

“Yes, just for a talk?” Bapu asked.

The boys looked at each other. And then in a firm voice Bhagat Singh spoke up-

“Why not. I think we have a lot to discuss” 

The glint in his eyes persuaded everyone to agree.

Prafulla Chaki hastily procured a chair for Bapu to sit. The revolutionaries sat around him in a circle. There was a slight feel of tension in the air. After all the two parties here were not really the best of friends at any point in time.

Bapu: So what were you discussing today?

Sukhdev: We were comparing jails and jailers.

Bagha Jatin: And rifles and grenades
Bhagat Singh: And Lenin and Mussolini.

Bapu looked visibly uncomfortable. 
Azad(trying to put him at ease) And we were also talking of ..eh..Ahimsa and Satyagraha.

There was a giggle which was instantly muffled following a glare from Azad.
Bapu: Oh I am glad you have finally understood those principles. I knew you would one day. 

Bhagat Singh: We had understood them long ago!

Rajguru: (whispering) And thus rejected them also long ago.

*suppressed laughter*

Bapu: Sorry, did I miss something?

Barindra Ghosh: Nothing worthwhile.

Bapu: Anyway, there is something I always wanted to ask you, but never had the opportunity. How did you think killing a few individuals would get us freedom? Didn't you know you were bound to fail- we had neither the means nor the..?

Barindra: Bapu, if I see my mother being killed right before me, I would not be conducting psychological experiments then. I would not even take a moment to ponder whether the assailant is stronger than me or whether I am equipped to tackle him. I would just take the plunge irrespective of its futility.

Bapu: But how did you all manage to sleep in the night after shooting a man? With you hands stained in blood?

There was a grave silence. The revolutionaries looked at each other. The conversation was going to take a confrontational turn and they just wanted to make sure that everyone was in it together.

Bhagat Singh: Bapu, since we are discussing insomnia, we would like to bring to your notice that we had greater trouble sleeping in the night with pens and begging bowls, when we knew that our nation demanded blood. Ours and the enemy’s. So we decided to give the enemy some sleepless nights.

Bapu: But taking up arms is not true courage. True courage is walking unarmed into your enemy’s abode and challenging him with the might of your conviction. True courage is in resilience.

Barindra: Bapu, I agree with your definition of courage. But please allow us to present ours. (sharing a long stare with Bagha Jatin)
True courage is walking into your enemy’s abode - with arms that you know are insufficient to protect but enough to provoke. True courage lies in firing that last shot without turning your back and then looking at the enemy in his eyes, seeing hatred, vengeance and triumph in there and yet smiling. For you die, rest assured that he killed you out of necessity and not mercy. That each drop of your blood was a sacred offering to the land.

There were a few moist eyes. Bapu looked moved but perhaps unconvinced. He preferred to keep quiet.

Jatin Das: Bapu, can we ask you a question too?

He nodded.
Jatin Das: We all know what we were labelled as after our deaths. You have been very uncharitable too in you remarks. But we do not hold it against you. You were the chosen leader and we are sure you acted responsibly. But we have been very curious to know what exactly did you think of us? A group of deluded patriots who went on a killing spree for cheap thrills? Like, really?

Bapu: No, you are misunderstanding me. I always respected your sentiment, your patriotism. But I knew your methods were going to harm the nation in the long run. Anarchy is not a suitable substitute for imperialism. Achieving freedom is not the ultimate goal - a peaceful, united nation was my dream.

Sukhdev: Irony O’ Irony! We all know what happened to the map of India in 1947.

Rajguru:. That reminds me, I wish our hanging was at Delhi instead of Lahore! For now, it looks like the ground where we lay our lives for the freedom of ‘our’ nation is no longer ‘ours’. It is a queer situation!

*laughter*

B.K Dutt: And another irony is that you had all the insight to look beyond achieving independence but could not look beyond the weapons in our hands? Did it never occur to you that men who sacrificed as much as we had were compelled by something deeper do so?


Bismil(breaking into a song) 
We too could have remained in the comforts of home,
With love and care, nurtured were we too.
Yet we walked out without a parting word,
Nothing to console those abandoned eyes.

Pain and suffering, inscribed in our destiny since eternity.
But dire and despair could deter us not,
And as we tread into the valley of doom,
Musings of our Motherland, our sole companions.

A round of applause.

Ashwaqullah Khan: That was much needed, Ram. Brilliant.

Bapu: That was indeed beautiful. And I understand you very well. I know you sacrificed your youth, your dreams - some of you spent your lives suffering in confinement…and of course I can imagine..…

Bhagat Singh: No Bapu, you cannot imagine. Not all of it, for sure. You cannot imagine what it is like to wake up every morning in a prison and stare at those rails. To fight a hopeless battle everyday. To convince yourself that what you did was right. To struggle to stay strong for the sake of those who you lead.
Do you know what it feels like to stare into the eyes of your comrade-turned-approver- to see your friend, who till a moment ago shared the same ideal as you buckle under pressure. And you cannot hate him for you dread that you could have been in his place too - in his failure lay the possibility of your defeat.
Do you know what it is like to come to terms with the fact that all what we did might go in vain. That we would never live to see the dawn of independence if ever it does come.… (Azad stretched out a restraining hand on his shoulder).

Surya Sen(with a faraway gaze) And yet we chose this life..this path.

Barindra: Or were chosen perhaps.

Azad: Thats enough friends. Let bygones be bygones. We have all done what we were supposed to do. And we owe no one any explanation, nor expect any from others.

Barindra: Bapu, we do not know about history, but as far as we are concerned- we hold nothing against you. And as my brother always said-a man’s value does not depend on what he does, but on what he is and inwardly becomes.

Everyone fell into a contemplative silence. Bapu looked grim. Finally the youngest of them all spoke up to break the solemnity.

Khudiram Bose: Bapu, you were so lucky. You saw the morning of 15th August. I cannot imagine what it must have felt like…

Bagha Jatin(affectionately ruffling his hairs) So you want to exchange your life with his?

Bapu looked pensive amidst the laughter. And then he said with a sigh-

“Not sure about the life, but I think I would like to exchange my death with any of yours.” 
He slowly rose and walked away.

The boys looked at him with empathy, perhaps for the first time.

But it was not long before their revelry was back. The air reverberated with their carefree laughter and pure joy. And no one could snatch this away from them. Neither ridicule not accusations, neither history nor their countrymen.

For this was the celebration of martyrdom. And it lasted for an eternity and beyond.

Saturday, 24 January 2015

An Evening Talk



A Sri Krishna-Arjuna conversation.



It was the evening before it all ended. Our last one spent together. 

The breeze blowing was somber, the waves splashing were foreboding. The feeling of being washed away was slowly gripping me. Strangely, it felt good. One after the other, each wave carried with it a memory of my life. Some I cherished, some I gladly let go. All my hopes  and desires, triumphs and tragedies, virtues and sins, everything was finally leaving the shores to merge with unbound vastness. The Infinite.


"Madhav?" 
I tentatively murmured. He was resting on the bark of a tree, his head slightly tilted towards me, his eyes lightly closed.


He uttered an inquisitive 'hmm?' without opening his eyes.



I paused for a while as I realised that I had not yet assigned words to my question . I hesitatingly said-"I was thinking....."



I saw his lips curl into an indulgent smile."What now Parth?"

I could not help break into a smile too. He had put me at ease. Once again.




"Is this the end Madhav?"

He gently open His eyes and looked at me. 



"Yes, it is."



Silence was all I could hear. I felt the sand slipping from my clutch. But my eyes refused to give way. Still affixed I continued-



"What did it all mean then?"



He turned towards the sea. I was anticipating an answer but I knew it was not in the near sight for I recognised that twinkle in His eyes very well now. 

"Parth, do you think the wave comes to the shore looking for meaning?"

"No, it comes only to return."

Without pondering, almost instantly and a bit impatiently I blurted.


He turned towards with me with an approving smile. I realised my answer implied much more than I meant. I persisted-



"But there has to be a purpose else everything is in vain?"


"Hmm..purpose..!"He mocked in jest. 

"Let history discover it, why should we do all the talking, fighting and then deciphering too! Give others a chance dear Parth!"

I couldn't help smiling. Nor could I ignore the turbulence in my heart. I wanted to hear something reassuring to be able to withstand what the dawn would offer me.  For I knew I was to witness a loss unimaginable for any man on earth.



He knew it too. Else He would not have borrowed this precious solitude for us.



 My questions were proving futile so I decided to keep silent. 



After a while, on His account He began with a faraway look-



"We had fun, didn't we Parth?"



That we did. My mind raced along the banks of my memory and snatched the remnants of the moments spent together. Sheer bliss defined them. This I was not ready to let go.



While I was reminiscing,I suddenly noticed that He was staring at me with a look so tender and loving that I could cease to exist at that very moment.



Thus, I lowered my gaze and realised my face was wet. And this was not the spray of the ocean.


I turned my thoughts towards Him, instead, wondering if He felt the same as I did. Of course he did not. He would not indulge in the ignorance I was willingly wallowing in. And our union was beyond parting, this He would more than just know.

But then I was sure I saw His eyes glimmer. Was it a tear of the compassion that he felt upon seeing me unnecessarily suffer. Or was it disappointment that I had in me still a lot of things unconquered.


I could no longer betray myself so I asked the question which had been haunting me-



"Madhav, we shall surely meet again.... right?"



"With certitude."



I felt a surge of relief embracing me. I cannot imagine what I would have done had His answer been otherwise.



He continued- "But that's not what I was thinking about...."



"Then?"


He paused and and with a tinge of pang said-

"It's the time in between."

"Parth...it will take quite a while to have such an evening again."


I felt being pricked but I was strangely unshaken. As if finally something within had taken charge and put an end to the overwhelming drama I was engaged in. Not just did I sit still, I actually attained an unmoving poise. I could feeI the depths of me aspiring to envelop their thoughts with words. Finally I uttered- 


I shall wait.


And then I heard a soft but profound- 

Me too.



There was no more scope for words. This would sustain me for eternity and beyond.


He slowly took out His flute and poured into it music which stirred the innermost fibre of by being.
I noticed the moon which had just arrived on time to hear the celestial notes filling the night.
I drew a long breath and wondered about the number of centuries, ages, lifetimes that would pass before the moon would grace our next rendezvous on a similar evening...

It was a bittersweet parting.